Rhythm
by mikasa-heichou
Summary: The words were all on his tongue, rushing to fall into formation before ordered to exit stage left. He mixed up his "I love you" and "come back to me" with his "I'm sorry" and "I miss you" but it was okay, as long as the message was delivered. As long as she heard it. And yet, the only sound in the room was the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. [Eremika]


Eren knew it was bad, but he didn't think it'd be _this_ bad.

He stared at the inky black hair sprawled out across the white pillow; the skin on her neck was exposed from the absence of her scarf. His eyes drifted to her collar bones that jutted out from the base of her neck and aching for the familiar feeling of the red fabric wrapped around them. He stared at her hands, dainty, yet stained with years of experience. He observed the steady rise and fall of her chest that stood as the only reminder that she was still alive and breathing. Eren looked everywhere except for the softened features of her face. He knew better than to let his gaze wander that way, for it would only pull up the immense guilt blocking his throat.

" _Thank you, Eren."_

The brunet remembered the sound of her angelic soprano voice calling out to him; calm, in spite of the death and chaos ensuing around them. It rang in his ears like an alarm and reminded him of the danger he had put himself and Mikasa into. And it was _Mikasa_ for Christ's sake. She never gets hurt. She's unbreakable, right?

" _Thank you for teaching me how to live."_

Well, at least Eren thought she was, but as he'd done so many times before, he miscalculated. As she laid in the infirmary bed unconscious for the third day in a row, Eren was reminded of the sick feeling of being proven wrong. Her heartbeat, the consistent _beep, beep, beep,_ in the corner of the room was his only assurance that she'd come back to him, and it wasn't even a guaranteed deal. It was a silly thought, really, because Mikasa always came back to him. She had to.

"Eren." the door opened to reveal a fatigued Armin. The blond gave a weak smile, blue eyes shifting to the girl, "How has she been?"

"Same as usual." Eren shrugged, stress lacing his voice, "She's out like a rock. The most I've seen was her fingers twitching."

Armin hummed in response as he pulled a chair up beside his best friend. He leaned back and placed a comforting hand on Eren's knee. "I wouldn't to expect her to respond for awhile. Her broken ribs nearly pierced her lungs, it's amazing at how little blood made its way into her respiratory system before it could become fatal." His gaze lingered for a moment before the trace of a frown graced his features. "There must also be some head trauma from when she fell off horseback after Reiner chucked that Titan in front of you guys. Don't lose hope, though, she never fails to amaze us." The thought of the severity of her injuries simultaneously made Eren want to throw up and tackle Reiner into next week.

The blond paused before adding, his eyes looking over her sleeping figure, "Mikasa seems so peaceful like this, huh?"

"Yeah," Eren agreed, "she doesn't have to worry about me anymore." he tried to joke.

"Oh, she's still worried about you," Armin corrected him with a smile, "you know she can still hear you, right?"

The brunet looked at him incredulously. "She can hear us?" He suddenly remembered all of the stupid shit he's said in this room right next to her.

"Of course." Armin confirmed, "She may be in a coma but her mind is still awake, you know. Try talking to her, it encourages patients to wake up faster."

The titan shifter contemplated the information. He could have a regular conversation with her and she'd hear everything. Maybe… maybe this was the best time to tell her how he felt. If he did it now, Eren thought to himself, would he be a coward for only saying it because she couldn't respond? But then again, he pondered, if Eren didn't fess up now, he would never find the courage to do it.

The sudden realization that Mikasa probably suffered the same internal conflict for six years made Eren want to go back in time and throttle himself. Hell, this woman was willing to walk through hell and back with him and only felt the need to confess when she was sure she wouldn't see the next day. Eren gawked at his own stupidity. Six years of such an intense, uncontrollable emotion, and six years of keeping herself quiet. The young man leaned forward in his chair to rest his forehead against a closed fist with a frustrated grunt.

"Captain Levi said," Armin began, snapping him out of his thoughts, "that she needs to hurry and wake up. Says that he needs his strongest soldier back as soon as possible." he smiled, laughter spilling past his chapped lips, "He's too emotionally constipated to say he misses her."

"Well," Eren leaned back in his chair, "he's not the only emotionally constipated one here."

"Oh, absolutely." Armin quickly agreed, "You, Captain, Mikasa, even Jean are all uncomfortably awkward in social situations like these. Especially when it involves feelings of affection and not anger. It must be such a burden carrying that, I don't know how you do it."

"I don't." Eren laughed, dragging his hands down his face in frustration. His best friend smiled at him sadly and got up to head back out. Armin paused behind him.

With a squeeze on his shoulder, he parted with, "Talk to her." and gave him a knowing look.

Eren heard the door shut softly behind him as he began collecting his thoughts. He swallowed nervously, even placing a hand over his heart in a feeble attempt to slow its rate. In fact, he wasn't even sure of why he was so anxious. It was just Mikasa! His best friend, his partner in crime. And yet he found himself at a loss for words when he realized that she was _so_ much more than that. She was more than just a best friend, more than just a partner in crime.

The words were all on his tongue, rushing to fall into formation before ordered to exit stage left. He mixed up his _I love you_ and _come back to me_ with his _I'm sorry_ and _I miss you_ but it was okay, as long as the message was delivered. As long as she heard it. Eren froze, unable to tear his eyes away from her face as they traced along her unique features. Her gorgeous lashes stayed pressed against her cheek, her flushed lips parted slightly and her skin looked sinfully soft. He was confident he'd ever meet a woman as beautiful as her, and she was only fifteen.

But the words never left. Eren forgot how to breathe, and suddenly all he could hear was the rhythm of her heartbeat.

 _A/N: Oh, Eren, your obliviousness simultaneously entertains me and frustrates me. Real talk, though, to me it doesn't seem like and Eren thing for him to confess smoothly and perfectly. I feel like it'd be something he'd do when the war was over; there's a time and place for everything. Anyway I hope you enjoyed as much as I did! Leave me some love in the reviews~_


End file.
